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Help! I’m a shopaholic!

How to know if your online shopping habit is a problem — and what to do if it is

Melissa Norberg and Jonathan DAvid

AS THE aftermath of COVID-19 and the subsequent rise in the cost of living drive up psychological distress, many people have increased their screen time, including online shopping, to cope.

Like alcohol use—or overeating, watching TV, or surfing the internet—online shopping doesn’t pose a problem when used as an occasional treat.  For some people, however, these behaviours can turn into habits that are hard to break.

Here’s how to know when online shopping becomes a problem, and what to do if it does.

How to know if it’s a problem

A behaviour becomes an addiction when at least three criteria are met:

  • the behaviour is clearly excessive, given its context;
  • it causes significant distress or impairment for the person or important people in their lives; and
  • it persists despite not resulting in re-ward.

Shopping online for your weekly groceries would not usually be considered a behavioural addiction.  However, online shopping might be considered addiction-like if you find yourself doing the following:

  • spending a great deal of time shopping;
  • buying a lot more than you need; or
  • finding it hard to stop shopping even though you rarely seem to enjoy the stuff you buy.

Relationship issues and financial hardship are other key clues that your online shopping has become a problem.

Some people may also experience online shopping problems without even spending a lot of money; just spending excessive amounts of time browsing products may be enough to warrant reflection, and possibly intervention.

What the research says about online shopping and addiction

For many people, shopping can be a social or leisurely activity.  It can feel good, and desires to feel good (and not bad) can get wrapped up with the desire to buy and own material possessions.

In fact, our research suggests that compulsive shopping can be associated with a feeling of being unable to deal with distress.

Problematic shopping also may occur when people attempt to compensate for an unmet psychological need, such as a need to feel competent, in control, or connected to others.

People sometimes turn to comfort products when they feel unsupported by significant others.  They may buy compulsively when they feel ambivalent or confused about their sense of self.

So it’s not surprising that during the pandemic, many people reported turning to online shopping to cope with significant changes to their social, work, and family lives.

What to do if you want to cut back

If online shopping or browsing is interfering with your life, there are several strategies you can try.

The first is to determine what triggers your online shopping.  Are you trying to feel better about yourself, or relieve negative emotions such as boredom, stress, or anxiety?  Are you experiencing poor sleep or unhealthy eating?  (If so, upsetting events might be more difficult to manage).

Is the online shopping occurring mostly at a certain time of day, or in certain circumstances—after a glass or two of wine, after scrolling social media, or when you’re lying in bed at the end of a long day, for example?

Next, try to figure out if there are other, more effective ways you can respond to whatever is triggering your excessive shopping.

If you tend to react impulsively to situations, practise identifying your urge to respond—and then sitting with that discomfort, so that you can choose a less impulsive and more productive or fulfilling response.  Being able to tolerate negative emotions, and respond flexibly to stressful situations is associated with healthier outcomes.

Chatting on the phone (or by text) with a friend, doing a peaceful activity (taking a bath, reading a book), exercising, or practising a hobby can help you to feel supported, relaxed, and talented.  These activities also can lessen anxiety and depression.

Once you determine what you can do instead of shopping, develop a daily schedule.  Having a schedule will help you feel more in control of your life and reduce the time available to shop on-line.

Try to set goals, and monitor your shopping behaviour.

You can also try to:

  • make shopping lists (and stick to them) when buying groceries and other essential items;
  • set a timer to limit how long you browse;
  • set constraints on how much you spend;
  • if possible, use debit cards instead of credit cards so you can only spend money you have;
  • steer clear of ‘buy now, pay later’ services; and
  • if you have multiple credit cards, consider closing them to limit your ability to spend money you don’t have.

Finally, don’t forget to reward yourself (with something other than shopping) when you meet your goals.

Getting help

Research has found these strategies can help people reduce their compulsive shopping.  However, if you have trouble reducing your shopping behaviour on your own, seek help from a professional.

Many medical schemes and corporate wellness programmes include cover for specialists who can provide you with a mental health care plan, which may in-corporate both individual and group appointments with a mental health practitioner.

If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline South Africa on 0861 322 322.

Melissa Norberg, associate professor in psychology, Macquarie University, Sydney, Australia.

Jonathan David, PhD candidate, Macquarie University, Sydney, Australia.

This article was originally written for an Australian context, and has been adapted slightly for a South African audience.

While every reasonable effort is taken to ensure the accuracy and soundness of the contents of this publication, neither writers of articles nor the publisher will bear any responsibility for the consequences of any actions based on information or recommendations contained herein.  Our material is for informational purposes and should not be construed as financial advice.

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